Strengthening Marriage

1.  “Marriage is not without trials of many kinds. These tests forge virtue and strength. The tempering that comes in marriage and family life produces men and women who will someday be exalted.”

“God has ordained that life should have its beginning within the protecting shelter of marriage, conceived in a consummate expression of love and nurtured and fostered with that deeper love which is accompanied always by sacrifice.”

Boyd K Packer, “Marriage”, General Conference April 1981

2.   “My suggestions use three action verbs: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate.”

“To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.”

“Suggestion number two—to communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.”

“My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “a space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes. If couples contemplate often—with each other in the temple—sacred covenants will be better remembered and kept. Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate (or be in tune) with each other and with the Lord. Contemplation will nurture both a marriage and God’s kingdom. The Master said, “Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” ^{17 “}

Russell M Nelson, “Nurturing Marriage”, General Conference April 2006

 3.  “Pure love is an incomparable, potent power for good.  Righteous love is the foundation of a successful marriage.  It is the primary cause of contented, well-developed children.”

Richard G Scott, “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”, General Conference April 2011

 4.  “I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache.”

Elder Dallin H Oaks, “Divorce”, General Conference April 2005

5.  “Marriage is a divine institution, ordained of God. Achieving success in the home is a supernal challenge—no other success can compensate for it.”

L Tom Perry, “An Elect Lady,” General Conference April 1995

6.  “There are covenants we can make if we are willing, and bounds we can seal if we are worthy, that will keep marriage safe and intact beyond the veil of death.”

Boyd K Packer, “Marriage”, General conference April 1981

 
7.  “I wonder how long problems would exist between husband and wife if we allowed the Lord to cool our tempers and to bring reason back into our minds, if we would kneel before him and ask for strength to have forgiveness.

I challenge you today to make something special of your marriage. Follow the counsel of the scriptures and have your marriage built on a foundation of faith in Christ and have it rooted and grounded in love. (Eph. 3:17.)”

L Tom Perry, “But Be Ye Doers Of The Word”, Ensign 1977

 8.  “It is far more difficult to be of one heart and mind than to be physically one. This unity of heart and mind is manifest in sincere expressions of “I appreciate you” and “I am proud of you.” Such domestic harmony results from forgiving and forgetting, essential elements of a maturing marriage relationship. Someone has said that we “should keep [our] eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward.” ⁹ True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.”

James E Faust, “Fathers, Mothers, Marriage” First Presidency Message, Ensign July 2004

 

“9.  Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.

Harmony in marriage comes only when one esteems the welfare of his or her spouse among the highest of priorities, when that really happens, a celestial marriage becomes a reality, bringing great joy in this life and in the life to come.”

Russell M Nelson, “Celestial Marriage”, General Conference October 2008

 

10.  “Brethren, let’s treat our wives with dignity and with respect. They’re our eternal companions. Sisters, honor your husbands. They need to hear a good word. They need a friendly smile. They need a warm expression of true love.”

Thomas S Monson, “Abundantly Blessed”, General Conference April 2008